"I'm going to tell them about me"

There have been over 220 kids walk through our gate since we opened. Of those kids we have about 60 or so consistent kids coming. They know us and we know them. We can see a huge difference in these kids from the first day. For me the Center is a living breathing movement. Everyday is different. The needs of our kids and my staff are ever changing. Since we do not control which kids come each day our combinations our endless and each group has its own personality. A few weeks ago there became a comfort and ease to the center that was new and wonderful. Just when we were settling into a rhythm at the Dream Center, everything changed. Isn’t that the way things go. Just when you take a deep breath saying “ok, we got this” it flips upside down. 

So what changed. Well over 20 completely new kids showed up in the past 2 weeks. And kept coming. The afternoon has totally changed and is half new. These new kids are all boys. Last Thursday we had 34 kids in the afternoon and only 5 of them were girls. I’m learning, God does not care whether we call it a “Boys Center” He is going to send us the kids he was always going to send us. So in some ways were are starting over with that group. Building relationships, trust and safety. In other ways we are not starting over we are expanding. 

In 6 months I have watched kids transform like I have never seen. Last week one of our kids had a dream were Jesus called him by name and took him to Heaven. His dream was amazing. I was reminded of 2 years ago when God told me “You can tell them about me, but I’m going to tell them about me.” That is my promise. That God is going to encounter these kids in ways that are real, personal and life changing. There is a principle that you can’t take anyone beyond where you have been. Yet in this instance I think that is out of the window. I so believe that God is going to take these kids so much further than me. My celling is there floor. My role is simply to keep letting Him do it. 

Thank you so much for your prayers, love and support. We are standing on the edge of revival. We are hearing our kids and there parents singing our worship songs in the slum. They are even writing their own worship songs. God is changing the mountain we are on. He is so faithful, so good and so real. From my front row seat it is absolutely amazing to watch. 

Days Spent Dreaming

I love that our center is called The Dream Center. Dreaming is so intertwined with what we are doing.  I dream a ton, our team dreams and not just at night. We spend days dreaming for our kids. Looking at them, praying over them and asking God what he says about them. He says incredible things. I play with giants every week and each day they become more and more free.

When people ask my role I tend to think social worker or program development. Those are the technical terms I have in my head. Years of training that tell me in clear, jargon filled lines that I do something straight forward. Ha. This center looks nothing like a program or outreach. Each week I am humbled to see just how God is building it into a family. Yes, that was the goal, but I never knew how that would really look. Well now I'm getting to see these dreams come true. He is creating this family that hangs out on mats having snack, making jokes, laughing and dancing. I am overwhelmed at how many moments in the middle of nothing technical our staff sit or play along side our kids and there is so much peace, safety and joy. Kids free to be kids. Our team taking delight in these children.

One of my dreams for the center was that we as a team would be incredible models of serventhood to our kids. I wanted to see our staff take delight in taking care of these kids who all to often take care of themselves and those younger. My Dad would call it "restoring childhoods!" Our staff are incredible, Khmer and foreign! They respond in love, patients and joy over and over again. In the beginning we planed even the smallest details of the center including what the kids will drink out of eg. water bottles, washable cups, plastic cups, etc. Our rule, we never expect our kids to do anything our staff do not model. So for weeks we all washed cups, so many cups! And then all of a sudden there was a precious boy at the sink washing cups. He finished and happily ran back to re-join a game. No one asked him to, no one was even around, he just followed suite.

We still wash a ton of cups but every now and then I turn around and there is a child at the sink happily taking part in family life that he is invited into. I am reminded that nothing we do goes unseen. We have the privilege of getting closer and closer to Jesus so that in what we model for are kids Jesus becomes more and more tangible. Jesus is crashing in, in much bigger ways then clean cups but somehow it is these small things that I see great victory. I see these kids become sons and daughters and the orphan spirit falling away and they carry themselves as ones who belong.

These changes have happened so quick. They are not the result of programs or counseling. Changes I can not take credit for or explain outside of the direct work of our God who is calling out to his children. I am remind that this is His dream come true. His idea, His location, His children and this is how He chose to come to them. And His ways are always better, no matter what. He is our program. He is our plan. He is our dream come to life.

Stepping In

This week marks one month since the Dream Center opened its gates. It has been truly amazing. Each day we open I see so much growth in our 60 kids, staff and myself. For me this season has been about truly stepping into all the Lord has for me. It has been about commitment and determination. Not that these things are easy or fast but they build something beautiful. For months and months I have worked, prayed and lived life to achieve this Center’s opening. And now it has come. But just as the Israelites encountered giants when the finally made it into the promise land, we too have encountered giants. I am learning more and more that the Giants that most greatly threaten the kingdom are not out there hiding in the distance but they are here in my heart effecting my every move. The condition of my heart and my ability to be vulnerable and honest with both God and myself is what effects both my intimacy with God and my ability to fulfill my call. 

The Center opening more than any other single event in my life has shown me how desperately I need God. I can see the type of leader I am called to be and I can see all the things that still have power to rattle me away from that person. I have been given an incredible gift in this Center. It is nothing I have earned but its is a gift. Yes, I know that God has been preparing me for it, I see this more and more everyday. But there is no preparation I have that is sufficient outside of intimacy with God. This last month has been full of joy and awe with a little bit of trepidation. I know the promises God has for this place, they are beautiful. We are going to continue to change and grow together. I have to step in, so I am. 

In the past two weeks I have found a new home. One that shouts permanency. It is a place of peace away from the center and the slum. I am acquiring furniture, getting dishes, and creating a real home here in Cambodia. In some ways it feels like I am re-living the move from college to real life, good-bye plastic plates! I am also saying goodbye to my somewhat faithful, perfect for learning, first motto here. It is time for something reliable, newer and lets face it, pretty! In 2 weeks I will be picking up my Georgia red bike from its owners in Phnom Penh. 

It has always amazed me how God as provided for me. I told God what I would really love is a bathtub in a house in a specific neighborhood. Two weeks later after a few let downs of some homes I really liked but were unreasonably priced, I walked through one final house. And there it was a bathtub in the master bath. In Cambodia, bathtubs are like unicorns! This home ended up being cheaper than all the others and later I found out it is the only house in that neighborhood with a bathtub! I will be the first person to live in this home. It has been waiting for me. How is He that good? How does he care about ending child abuse and Mary Grace getting a bathtub? The more I understand how much I truly matter to God, the more I can lead my staff and kids into know how much they matter to God. If as a nation Cambodia knew its worth we would be out of a job. 

Lessons Learned

In Sihanoukville we are sitting on and pressing into so many promises. Some for our personal lives and many for Iris Cambodia. Our Dream Centre is almost so close I can touch it. We already know some of these boys and we are already seeing changes in them through this season of building relationships and laying foundations. We are still seeing fruit as we prepare for what has been promised to us. Many other dreams lie ahead ministries, churches, outreaches and businesses. This season has been both comfortable at times and excruciating at times.

As I have sitting in this season of foundations, both personally and organizationally, a very familiar and loving voice comes to me often. Though God is speaking consistently and growing me in this time, the voice He speaks through is sometimes that of my earthly father, my Daddy.

When I was in elementary school my father, who was the president of a children's home, had run out of room. He had no room to grow. He had promises, he had vision and he had the call he had said yes to. But in the physical he was out of space. I remember driving with him, looking out the window and asking him what he would do if he had land like that or buildings like that. He would share with me his dreams and promises. I saw and felt the ache in his heart for more, to fulfill his call and to see his promises come to reality. 

Almost 20 years later, I can relate. Just like my Daddy there is a great need, a great promise and a “yes” in my heart to everything God wants to do. My Daddy always encouraged me to “pay my dues” not to rush to the top, but to spend the time to learn from the bottom up. I believe that years down the road I will look back to this season of “waiting” and see the incredible fruit that was birthed from it. I am learning, we are learning and God is creating a foundation that can withstand the huge dreams He has for this country and more importantly His Kingdom. 

So I guess you should know that my Daddy’s promises came, and they came like a flood. Through faith, love and prayer, his territory was expanded with four more location, numerous buildings, programs and government favor. I watched as his dreams and promises became reality and with an incredible foundation are able stand. 

My prayer for Sihanoukville is that we will be faithful to every promise we carry for this place. That this season of “waiting” will be that of incredible growth, maturity, dreaming and laying a foundation of love that can not be shaken. We have a God who does not know how to wast anything. Thank you for joining us in this season and for contenting for these promises.  It is a truly significant time and we have no option but to be unshakeable.  

We Are Easter People

So much has been moving and shifting here in Cambodia. Our team has gotten bigger both with foreign staff and our sweet Cambodian staff that are with us full time now. I am daily amazed by our team. A team that was began by one family of 6 being obedient to pioneer a base in Sihanoukville before the tangible began to appear. This family has given our base one of the biggest gifts. They were obedient when they could not always see and because of them every part of the ministry that comes out of our team comes out of the spirit family. As I am here for one of my favorite family holidays I remember my physical family in the States as well as my greater church family. They are beautiful and my foundation. Likewise I look at my family here in Cambodia. Like all families you don't necessarily choose them, they are chosen for you. This family is full of people from 3 different nations who said yes to God's dream. His dream for Cambodia.

Last night we had the privilege to do a drama for our church youth group. Our entire 13 member team was involved. The drama showed why Jesus died for us and what we got because of it. Throughout the drama the black mark of sin showed up. Sin- those things people do to hurt us and we do to hurt others or ourselves. It was powerful. As the kids, many their first time to hear the gospel, stayed engaged they were moved. Joel, our leader, then spoke to them about their immense worth. A powerful truth that Satan constantly attacks in this country as children and adults are bought and sold for next to nothing. He invited them to take some time, kneel at the cross, tell Jesus about what has hurt your heart, say sorry for what you have hurt and thank him for what he has done.

Suddenly, the entire room got up and walked to the large wooden cross and knelt before there savior. They took time to talk to Jesus and cried as they felt their savior's great love for them. They have a God and a friend, one who will never leave them, is always fighting for them and tells them that they are worthy of love, life and hope! You are worthy of love, life and hope. Not because of you, but because your Jesus bore everything that is painful in your life and return gave you what He deserved. Easter in not just about Heaven and your admittance, though we praise the Lord for that. It is about the life, love and hope you get to carry on this earth too.

So my Easter challenge is the same that these children have, walk it out. Know what you have been given is life. Its is alive and active and moving, you have access to it. If you do not know what you carry, what Jesus has given you, read his promises and ask him about it. We are Easter people and  we carry resurection power. It is not just an idea but reality.

Last month I was in Singapore for a conference with my team. We say hundred healed including some of our own. One of our Cambodian staff has had horrible motion sickness her whole life. It got significantly worse on this trip. She was never able to look out the window on her first plane ride because she was so sick. Every day on the bus to and from the conference she would get sick. The last night of the conference she encountered the Lord in worship, it was one of those life changing deeply personal encounters. Car ride home, bus, plane ride back, very bumpy car ride to our town, nothing completely healed. Not one ounce of sickness. Now every one she meets that gets motion sick she prays for. She tells them God healed me from that and He can heal you too. She knows what she carries and she gives it freely.

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, 

because the Lord has anointed me 

to bring good news to the poor;

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

They shall build up the ancient ruins;

they shall raise up the former devastations;

they shall repair the ruined cities,

the devastations of many generations.

Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;

foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;

but you shall be called the priests of the Lord;

they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;

you shall eat the wealth of the nations,

and in their glory you shall boast.

Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion 

instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot

therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;

they shall have everlasting joy.

Isaiah 61:1-7

Preparing the way....Paint, Grass, Worship and Prayer

Well I officially hit the ground running here in Cambodia. With in the first 2 weeks I had moved into a new house, hosted visitors from college, visited Siem Reap (12 hour bus ride away), jumped back into work in my town as well as Phnom Penh with meetings, trainings and networking. Needless to say I also spent several days sick after such a sprint of a start. Now things have leveled out to a steady run and we are seeing great transformation both in the community and in our Dream Center. With lots of visitor coming through we have had amazing man power to paint, power wash and clear land. Our soccer field was laid with grass and our Dream Center is coming to life.

God is so faithful. As I watch the land physically transform, I know it is just a small taste of the transformation that God is going to do in the lives of our boys through the center. I am so humbled to be apart of this dream. We see God moving on a daily basis, we are reliant on it. If he does not continue to move and show up we are doomed to fail. He is faithful and all the glory is His. This is His Dream Center, His dream. I am so honored He is taking me along with him. So here are some photos of the transformation we are seeing. 

Our small building that will operate as more of storage and kitchen. There will soon be a large open air pavillon in the space in front of the building for large group events, lessons, games and worship.  

Our beautiful pots with banana trees starting to grow. They will form a barrier between the soccer field and the activated on the upper tier. 

The view from the fist tier to the soccer field on the second. 

Love our blue shutters!

There is also another lower tier behind the building where we home to have some chickens and a vegetable garden. We hope to both train boys in agriculture and send fruits, vegetables and eggs home with them. 

View from the soccer field. The tall building on the far right is my home. I live in the 1st and 2nd floors on the right side with my team mate/friend Hannah. 

Hannah and I at the Dream Center!

A smaller hut we will use to teach, worship, disciple and watch soccer. 

So much thought, love and hard work as been poured into this property in the past month. Just foreshadowing of how we will love the Son's of God who gather here. 

This is the lowest tier that is still mostly untouched. It is full of fruit trees. We are still dreaming about the role of this section of the Center. Clinic, maybe!?!?

Pray for our Dream Center. That it will be a place where the Spirit of God resides and breaths life. Pray that we will not get in the way of what God wants to do, but instead be in sync with His will at all times. Pray for the beautiful Cambodian people as Paul prayed for the Ephesians and I pray for you, "That Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great  you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)

Abide

Well I find myself back in Phnom Penh this week. After weeks of writing the policy for Iris Cambodia, this week I came to Phnom Penh to meet with community partners. We are learning from the incredible NGO's (non-goverment organization) that have been here for years researching, providing ministries, programs and services that are truly changing lives here in Cambodia. It is such an incredible blessing as we are getting started to have leaders in these organizations  (Hardplaces Community, Love 146, Sparrow's Nest to name a few) who are willing to walk beside us as we are pioneering new programs and territory. As we are preparing policy, programs and facilities our new Khmer (Cambodian) staff are also preparing. They are training here in Phnom Penh working directly with children at Hardplaces Community and able to get invaluable hands on experience. It is an amazing gift to both our staff and our organization.

This week our Khmer staff from Sihanoukville started training. It has been fun to be here with them at the beginning and see their excitement for the ministry. Last night we spent time eating together (in a large circle on the floor of course). There were 11 of us total international and Khmer laughing, joking, playing games and eventually praying. We ended the night thanking God for the opportunity of serving along side the Khmer people. We spent time laying hands on the four of them, blessing, encouraging and asking God to fill them with more of his joy, wisdom and love. I firmly believe that it is the Khmer people who God wants to use to change Cambodia. And these four are going to lead Iris Cambodia as we watch God encounter his children here in a land that is so hungry for its Savior.

A few days ago a friend of mine who is a missionary in Mozambique shared this quote. It was one of those moments where I felt like I ran into a brick wall because it was just so real to me.

"But when I reach the end of this life (one that has been staged to prepare me for eternity), will I hand Him my personal CV of all I accomplished for Him, or crawl in His lap because He is just that familiar to me? I want to know the scent of His skin."

- Sara Haggerty

As I pray 1 John 2:28 this week it is my prayer for both myself and the boys who will come to know the scent of His skin through our Day Center. I am utterly convinced that we could not give a better gift.  "And now, little children, abide (live, remain permanently) in Him, so that when He is made visible, we my have and enjoy perfect confidence (boldness, assurance) and not be ashamed and shrink from Him at His coming." 

Abiding today, tomorrow and praise God for eternity.